Thursday, February 21, 2013

Feelings....nothing more than feelings

I've been thinking a lot about feelings lately.  Not just emotional feelings, though I've got plenty of those running through my head too, these are more, lets say psychic feelings.

I've always had a sixth sense, a small one but it's there.  I wake up knowing who I'm going to hear from during the day,  stuff like that. It also extends to my health issues. I usually know when there is something wrong with me way before the doctors do. I've even been know to just tell the people doing the tests what they need to look for and they almost always find it.

I knew that I had something serious going on when they found the tumor back in April, I almost hate to say it because I don't want it happening again but I've been having that same feeling again. Both in my mind and in how I feel physically..

Hopefully my spidey sense is off this time. I'm seeing the oncologist March 20th so we'll see then. Until then I'm going to live my life and enjoy life.

Now the emotional feelings.... I'm one of those people who laugh at funerals because I  think people would prefer us to remember and celebrate the fun parts of their lives and not be all mopey and stuff. I cry when I'm mad or when someone I love is hurting. I hurt when people I care about and claim to be my friends cut me out of their lives because they have a new "toy".  I hurt when I go out of my way to help someone with a bad situation and get left behind. I'm good enough to help them but not good enough to take a chance on. I guess it's their loss ans someday they will realize that. Maybe it won't be too late.

Enough with the maudlin crap, if you know a guy who wants 45 year old Grandma with lots of scars have him HMU  jk :)