Friday, June 07, 2013

Everybody wants to

Every once and a while you just feel this urge, this anger, this need to just slap the stupid out of someone. Any one that really knows me can tell you that I never resort to violence, but that doesn't mean it doesn't cross my mind from time to time.

But I'm a lover, not a fighter. I want the people I love to be happy and feel safe.  Lately I see a lot of people put into conflicts they don't deserve to be in. Why people insist on being vindictive and petty with other people is beyond me.  I'm not saying I'm Mother Teresa...again I'm sure some of my friends can attest to the fact that when someone really upsets me, I do get mad... but I walk away from the conflict, end the relationship, whatever I need to do to calm myself down. Things either sort themselves out or they don't but I'm not going to let someone else dictate my feelings.

I have people in my life, people I see every day and people I've met and maintained friendships with on-line for years, who I have watched  be hurt and manipulated by other people for no other reason than because the manipulator was miserable and wanted my friends to be miserable too.  It's hard to watch but all I can do is be there when they need someone who cares and loves them to encourage them.  It hurts me to see them hurt and all I want to do is wash it all away.

I've always been the sounding board for people.  For as long as I can remember people have come to me when they need to talk, to work out the problems that are holding them down.  I think in a previous life I must have been a psychologist ... if I'd had the opportunity that's what I'd be doing today.

I know this post is kind of rambling but I'm in a rambling kind of mood right now.  It's been one of those days you want a hug and want to hug someone... but you didn't do either. 

I guess I should say something about my MS since that was going to be my main focus when I started the blog, hence the name MS and More. It just seems that the More effects me more than the MS...
I'm still on Copaxone and while I hate the daily shot it seems to be doing it's job.  I've been pretty much stable for a while.  I have a bad day every now and then but with my meds, trying to eat right, and not pushing myself I am pretty much keeping myself on an even keel.

Maybe it's time to change the name of the blog?

Tuesday, June 04, 2013

Two days in a row??

Obviously aliens have taken control of my body as I am doing this two days in a row. As long as they don't probe me we'll get along just fine.

Got my blood work results back today and both my CA-125 and CEA levels are normal! Great news but they are still going to keep an eye on me for a while just to be on the safe side.

On a more personal note...what could be more personal than my health trials and tribulations you may ask? My New Years resolution was to finally file for divorce this year. I've been separated for I don't know, 6 or 7 years, and since he showed no interest in paying for it I decided that filing would be a good Birthday present for myself. So the week of July 15th I will be taking back my maiden name! Is this something I should feel sad about, because all I feel is a huge weight off of my shoulders. This is something that should have been a long time ago. Marriage should be a happy thing, it should be two people and a give and take kind of relationship. Mine was never really any of that and the only thing that saddens me is that I ever let things be as bad as they were. So I'm going to let this ending be a happy one, because I deserve it.

I see a week of Tequila Sunrises in my future and time with some of the friends that I love...

Here's to the's gonna be even better than the past!

Monday, June 03, 2013

Life is good...for once

I'm going to say it again.. for what seems like the thousandth time, I'm going to try and start blogging way more than I have. I promise!

To get the health stuff out of the way, last week I went and saw my OB/GYN Oncologist for my 1 year follow up. The exam and ultrasound looked good and had some blood work to keep an eye on some of my CA levels but so far no results.. no news is good news!

On to life in general... I've got a lot to be happy about.. family, amazing friends, people I love and people who love me. I am lucky enough to have friends who are musicians, damn good ones at that, I truly believe that music can heal anything if you open yourself up to it and let it in body, mind and soul.  I know it has gotten me through a lot and without it I'd be lost in a sea of hopelessness.

My Girl Interrupted girls Chris and Lee

One of the boys who Interrupted, Joel

Another boy Interrupting, but Bart is married to Chris so I guess it's okay

And of course Young, yet another boy!

 This is the youngest talent On the local scene Trina, she rocks! And me and Chris.. don't ask

These are just some of the people who make me smile, laugh, heal and love.