Friday, October 08, 2010

Dear Rude Dude in the Food Lion parking lot

Dear Asshole,

Yes I noticed the dirty look you gave me when I pulled into the handicapped spot and pulled out my placard and hung it on my rearview mirror.

I also heard you muttering about how some people thought they could get away with anything.

I know you heard me when I asked you if you had a problem, because you said "Yeah, my problem is lazy ass people like you who take spaces that the handicapped people need"

Which is why I replied " I'm really happy that you think I look good enough to not need that space but let me give you a little medical history. I have Multiple Sclerosis, chronic pain syndrome and complications from having thyroid cancer. All of those combined on some days mean that I'm lucky to be able to walk from one end of my home to the other, let alone across a parking lot to get groceries. And since I've had the stomach flu for a week I'm feeling even worse than usual. I don't always use the handicap spot, but when I need to use it I do. Which is why my neurologist signed the order for one.

You need to remember that not all handicaps are visible and I'm sorry that your doctor doesn't thing stupidity is a reason to give you a handicap placard. And have a nice day!"

Rude dude decided maybe he didn't need groceries after all and the little old lady sitting at the bus stop stood up and clapped for me as I went in the door.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Dream Come True

For as long as I can remember I have had two types of dreams. One is the kind where everything in it is so outrageous that you know you are in a dream. The other is where things are so normal that you think you are awake until you actually do wake up.

For me the real ones tend to bleed over into real life. If I dream about someone that I actually know, even if I haven't seen that person in years, they usually pop up in real life shortly thereafter. Sometimes it odd things, like Friday night I dreamed that I ran into my two oldest Grandchildren in the mall. Saturday, their other grandmother calls me to tell me that the kids will be modeling for Belk's at a nearby mall and they wanted me to come see them. Sure it could be coincidence but after 30 plus years of things like this happening you just go with it.

Just a few months ago I dreamed about a friend of my daughter, the next day she fell in the river, hit her head and had to be air-lifted to Spartanburg. She's fine but I knew something was going to happen to her. Several years ago I dreamed my neighbors house caught on fire, 2 days later the people across the street lost their home in a fire!

I think the one that sticks with me the most was a dream I had when I was a child, it was the late 70's. We lived in California at the time and one night I dreamed I was in a house I'd never seen an I was vacuuming the living room. There was ugly brown and orange shag carpet and a fireplace with a wide brick ledge around the bottom. Standing on the ledge was a girl I didn't know, she was talking to me while I vacuumed. A few years later we moved to North Carolina and into a house with that ugly brown/orange shag carpet and a fireplace in the living room. Not long after that my new best friend came in while I was vacuuming and jumped up on the ledge and went to chattering. It was exactly like my dream.

I'm still waiting for a lottery winning dream.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Mother of the Bride

Egads! My daughter is getting married May 31st. While I am ecstatic that after 3 kids she is FINALLY getting hitched I am dreading finding a dress to wear.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I just don't wear dresses. If fact my daughter can't remember me wearing any dr3ess other than my wedding dress, that was 11 years ago.

So how is a dress challenged woman supposed to pick out the perfect mother-of-the bride dress? If you are me, you post a plea for help on several internet message boards. Then you sit back and wait for the dress to come to you.

Somehow I don't think this is going to turn out well.