Yeah yeah, I know.....

So, after convincing my surgeon that I really needed my birthday weekend before they cut me open like a watermelon, my surgery was scheduled for May 9th. As you can see I'm still alive, either that or Cynthia Wilson has hijacked this blog. It's easy to tell us apart though, she smells like Clorox and I don't.

We hit the hospital at 5:00 only to be told that my 7:30 surgery had been pushed back to 9:30..... WHY IN HADES DID NO ONE CALL ME I COULD HAVE GOTTEN 2 MORE HOURS OF SLEEP!!!! Eventually they sent me and my mom upstairs to get me ready. They actually got my first i.v. in pretty easy, which with me is AMAZING, usually they have to try numerous times. So we headed to the o.r. and at some point between them starting my first i.v. and putting in the second i.v. I asked my surgeon to take a picture of my tumor!  Now anyone who knows me can tell you I do not like gross stuff, at all, but apparently my subconscious thought it would be a great photo op. So yes, I have a picture of my tumah.

The surgery went amazingly well, they did a total hysterectomy, removed my appendix and of course removed the tumor. Did I mention that that sucker weighed 12 pounds and 8 ounces! They had to cut from above my bellybutton all the way down into the nether regions in order to get it out in one piece. Staples, staples and more staples.

Final verdict was a low-malignancy muscinous tumor. While there were some bad cells I won't need chemo or radiation and there is only a miniscule chance of recurrence so YAY!

After a 3 day hospital stay I finally got to come home to my own bed where I could get some sleep.  Well, except when my mom woke me up EVERY SINGLE MORNING wanting to know what I wanted for breakfast when she knows I never eat before noon. Except for the chocolate pudding I eat when I take my morning meds.The first week was not fun, I couldn't eat for the nausea and it took a while to find something that was going to work. At my two week check-up I was down 27 pounds. I did finally get my appetite back and started feeling a bit stronger.

After my 2 week check-up I finally got to be able to drive again, thank the freaking lord cause I was going stir crazy sitting here all day with no one to talk to, not even my cat who went to stay with her grandparents because I didn't need her making biscuits on my stapled belly. Still not allowed to pick up anything over ten pounds at least until June 25th which is my next appointment with the surgeons.

I'm 3 and 1/2 weeks out from surgery and and really doing well for the most part. My incision is healing really well and while I'm still sore, okay, very sore at times, it gets better every day. I never knew sneezing could hurt, it can.

Here comes the more

I tend to neglect my blog because usually what I want to say just doesn't come out the way I want to say it. That I really have a very boring life.

Fortunately for you, I now have something new to talk about. Unfortunately for me it's that once again I am facing that yucky C word. And not the four letter C word. The 6 letter C word, yep that one.

About a month and a half ago I went in for my regular bloodwork at my endocrinologists office. A couple of days later I get a call from her telling me to take myself to the ER because according to my bloodwork I needed a transfusion. So I headed for the hospital with a blood count of 5.2 which is about a third of what it should be. They admitted me and went to work. Four pints of blood, a colonoscopy , an endoscopy and a couple of days later they finally sent me home with an appointment with the oncologist as they couldn't find a reason for the anemia.

A trip to the oncologist finally got someone to look at my stomach which over the past 4-6 months has slowly grown. And nope, dang sure wasn't a baby. So off to the hospital for a Ct scan and pelvic x-ray. That so amazed the doctor that they followed it up with different ultrasounds.  Not being one to do anything half assed, I am the proud owner of a volleyball size cyst in my abdomen. Besides making me look 18 months pregnant, at least to my eyes, it is pushing all my organs back and down and round and round.

With the second ultrasound my oncologist told me he felt I have Cystic Ovarian Cancer, which from here on out I will call COCk. So today, or yesterday since it's after midnight, I headed up to Asheville to meet with a GYN Oncologist who specializes in this sort of stuff. After 2 more ultrasounds today he found that my cyst has several nodules inside of it and he does think it may be attached to at least the right ovary. Of course he also said that there is also the chance that it may not be cancerous, but I get feelings about things and my feelings are pointing at the fact that this volleyball is not benign.

So... on Friday i will head back up the mountain to get my pre-op stuff done and then on the 9th I report to the hospital at 5:30 a.m., which is a time of day no decent human should be awake, and will go into surgery at 7:30. At this point he plans on removing the mass, uterus and right ovary. They will send a sample out to pathology and if need be will take out whatever needs to come out. TAKE IT ALL!!!!!!!

So here we go again, I'll try and really keep this updated even on those days where all I do is sit on the couch and watch t.v. I've still got 126 episodes of Dark Shadows to watch before I will let myself go see the Johnny Depp version.

***note to self*** make next entry about all the reasons I can't die anytime soon.

I love cats but.......

Everyone knows I love me some cats. My cats keep me sane and drive me crazy all at the same time.

I have 2 indoor cats and they keep me laughing and stress free most of the time.

However I also have a habit of feeding all the neighborhood strays. This wasn't a problem until the past few days. A beautiful yellow tom has shown up and while he is actually the only stray who will let me pet him, he has decided that the entire outside of my house must be sprayed by him so that everyone knows that this is now his territory. So my house right now smells liike a big ole ball of stank. He's gonna have to go, nothing else is gonna help.


The landlord put out a cage today and caught one of the stray females, so 1 down 6 to go. Maybe if we can get rid of some of them  Tom will hit the trail back to where he came from. 


They are calling for rain on Thursday so maybe that will wash some of the stank away, I can dream. Otherwise I'm gonna have to febreeze the entire outside of the house.

 

Here we go one last time

If you have been reading any of my previous posts you know that I am in the process of having some major dental work done. It's not a cosmetic thing, it's a necessity. It's take care of this now or take a chance that my infection could move to my heart and pretty much stop me in  my tracks.

Thanks to some wonderful people I have been able to start the process and have had some work done on the left side, I go back the 8th of February for the right side then they will do what they can to save some of my front teeth.    Once everything heals I will then be fitted with partials and hopefully everything will  be hunky dory.

My problem is that I may still be about $2000 short even with the previous donations through the Wish Upon a Hero Foundation, If you have never heard about WUAH then I urge you to check it out. There are people there who like me need medical help, help saving their homes or just wanting a card to brighten their day.

The link to my personal wish is http://www.wishuponahero.com/wishes/?id=1127353 If anyone is willing to help, even if it's 5 dollars, that will be 5 dollars that will help me be able to get everything done that needs to be done.  I will gladly scan and email you a copy of the estimate from the dentist and receipts showing what I have had to pay thus far. If you don't wish to go through the WUAH site I will also accept help through PayPal at voodidit@gmail.com.

I hate having to ask for help and my friends and family will testify to the fact that I would rather go without something then ask for help but it's become more than I can handle. If you can't donate that is understandable but I would greatly appreciate you passing this on to other people who may be able to help in some way.

Thank  you and now back to our regular scheduled programming :)  And if you haven't checked out my friend at http://www.tamaratattles.com/ and are a fan of The Real Housewives of Atlanta take a minute and check out her blog. She's a funny and amazing lady and really knows her tea!

Peace and love y'all!

Misty river colored memories

Holidays just aren't the same as they where when we were children. I don't mean the amount of presents, it's more the lack of family unity. I can remember so many Christmas' where our entire family and extended family would gather at My mam-maw and pap-paws home for Christmas dinner and of course the opening of all the presents.

And of course a trip to Gran's house for lunch and presents with Mom's side of the family. It wasn't so much the presents as just spending time with people with didn't always get to see. 

But people pass away and kids grow up and have their own families and things just change, not always for the best. I always thought that when my Gran passed that my mom would take charge and demand that we continue the family tradition of Christmas together, just at her house instead of at the old home place. Instead everyone goes their own way and we rarely see anyone on Christmas at all.

While I understand the need for people to want to create their own holiday traditions, it seems that all it does is pull families farther apart. I want my nieces and my grandchildren to have what I had growing up.Knowing that Christmas meant spending the day with their cousins eating dinner with their entire extended families and opening presents together and just being kids. I miss that more than anything.

Instead this year, Christmas Day me, my parents and one of my aunt and uncles  went to the local Italian restaurant for an early dinner.Then the next day we went to my daughters house so that the Grands could open their presents.

While I was happy to see everyone it just wasn't the same as we were never all together.Oh well, there's always next year.

I hope everyone has a safe and happy New Year!

There are a lot of sick peoplein this world

As I was wandering the internets in yet another drug induced stupor I ran across this article http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/45795486/ns/us_news-crime_and_courts/?google_editors_picks=true#.Tvql2fIatB5

So mom moves her kids to a trailer park so she can help her sex offender father, a trailer park apparently filled with other sexual predators.  She then gets one of these fine upstanding citizens to babysit. He proceeds to kill and dismember this poor little 9 year old girl. Why? Well I guess he just felt like it.


While I feel such sorrow for the family for what has happened, I think the anger has overwhelmed that emotion in my heart. Anger towards the man who killed this innocent girl and anger toward her mother who placed her in the hands of this monster.


Having 3 beautiful Grandchildren myself I can't imagine even entertaining the idea of putting them in the hands of a convicted sex offender of any type. What was this woman thinking? 


The world is slowly going to hell in a hand basket.

I hope everyone had a great Christmas. I for one am glad it's over and I can quit worrying about it. I have enough to worry about without holiday stress. Let's see, broke another tooth, calcium is low enough that my face is numb and my fingers are tingling. I keep getting cramps in my feet which have caused me to fall down more than once this week. All while trying to keep a smile on my face and not bite someone, anyone's, head off. Ah the joys of MS and ThyCa! I was glad to be able to watch the grands open their Christmas presents and happy that they seemed to love everything! I guess that makes up for all the bad stuff!

I'm putting myself out there

I have been having a pretty rough time with my health and my finances. If you can spare even $5 to help me reach my goal you will be helping more than you can ever know. This is a scary thing for me to do but I'm gonna conquer that fear and do it.


I'd really like to be able to smile without covering my mouth and not have to worry about the constant abscesses, this may be my only way to get what I need done, done. I'd appreciate any prayers too!

At this point I am halfway to the goal I need to be able to get the work done that I need to do, If anyone can find it in their hearts to donate even a dollar, every little bit will get me closer. Right now I have an abscess that I am dealing with and broken yet another tooth other the holiday, just call me snaggletooth.

MS is not a poor person disease

Or maybe I should say, you need to be rich to be successful at having Multiple Sclerosis.  I am failing miserably at this. I paid my rent, my car insurance and my water bill and have a whole $3 left to last until the 15th.

My cats are pissed because they are having to eat generic cat food....lol..... at least they are eating. My pantry is slowly emptying and I'm having to be creative. At least I have syrup for the Eggos :)

Enough whining,  things could be worse and they will be better. I demand it!

On to happier things, or weirder depending on how you look at it. Daisy has started licking the blinds I would worry but she's always been a little odd kitty anyway. And at least she's stopped dropping her polar bear stuffed baby in the commode.

I've been trying to get out of the house more often and thanks to my friends who have started both a full band and an acoustic show  I now have a reason to get up and get out from time to time. Love these guys. JunkPuncher and The Todd & Eric Acoustic Show!

Insecurities are a bitch

I'll be the first person to tell you I'm insecure. Not in all ways but it some ways, I always worry about what people are seeing when I walk across a room. Do they see me wobble and think I've had too much to drink, when in reality it's just a bad MS day. Believe me when I drink too much, you'll know.

I worry that the people I care about don't love me as much as I love them but I'm too insecure to ask.

But I mainly wonder over other peoples insecurities. I see people who should be enjoying a marriage to someone they've obsessed over for years and they slowly tear the relationship apart because they worry about the things you shouldn't worry about. If you love someone who has a passion for something, be it art, politics, music, either except that it will always be a part of their life or move on with yours. Don't drag someone down into your pit of despair because of the fear in your heart.

I would rather watch someone I love do the things they love even if it means less time with them than watch them change into a bitter person because I wouldn't give them the freedom to be who they really are.

Oh and by the way do these jeans make me look fat?